New Beginnings

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven 

 Ecclesiastes 3:1

Fall in Southern Indiana, 2009

For the longest time Winter was my favorite season. I was born in the winter and grew up where we periodically had snow. I lived most of my adult life in Florida and I think I romanticized Winter, I longed for the coolness and the white blanket of snow that covered a multitude of imperfections. Since I have lived in Indiana for the past few years I have learned to love all seasons again and I especially love the change that takes place in the world around us.

This time of physical change in God's amazing creation always brings about a time of self-reflection for me. My life has been full of change, some of it good and some not so good. With each change in my life I have been given to opportunity to use that change to launch a new beginning. I have begun to see that each change, whether it's a door opening or a door closing, is an opportunity from God to draw closer to His plan for my life. I am learning to seek His guidance in everything.

So, in this transition to autumn I have been reflecting on so much in my life, and looking forward to the New Beginnings there are to come.


Jason and I both have wonderful jobs...we are by no means rich, and honestly we struggle each month to pay the bills and have extras, but we are comfortable...we have a roof over our heads, we have food in the pantry and clothes on our backs. But we had both been feeling lately that we are not fulfilling our purpose and we are due for a change. And so we have made some changes that we feel are following God's will for our lives and our family. We took a leap of faith and I left my position at the hospital and began babysitting a few children at home. I also became a Jamberry Nails consultant...I love this product and this business! I am absolutely loving being home with our babies during the day! Jason started a new position at our church, working directly under the head maintenance and grounds guy. This has been a huge positive for our family and we are very excited to see what all is in store for us.

Bible Study Time

Right now I am desperately trying to get our house in order. Since we moved in just over a year ago, we haven't truly gotten it decluttered and organized the way we like. I'm attempting to break the daunting task down into baby steps. I've tried various programs, email reminders, charts, etc... But I've come to realize I have to do it in a way that makes sense to me. So, here's the beginning of my plan (trying not to over think it): (1) Conquer Laundry Mountain and develop a routine that keeps it under control. (2) Keep kitchen in check by at least getting dishes done every day. (3) Make sure toys in living room get picked up at nap time and bedtime. It takes 21 days to create a habit (I think it's 21...), so by next month I'll be ready for the next part of my plan. I think at that point I will be ready to go through the book 31 Days to a Clutter Free Life by Ruth Soukup. In the meantime, I'm going to get back to reading her book Living Well Spending Less and get back on track with my inductive Bible study of Romans.

 Our babies have grown and changed so much...all five of them! Elisabeth is a senior in high school and anticipating college. She's starting her first job and will eventually get her driver's license. Joseph is an 8th grader and is excelling in school. Margaret is in 3rd grade and is busy with friends. Joseph ad Margaret are with their dad during the school year and so we keep up with all the going-ons through phone and Facebook. Abby Sue is 2 now, she is so, so smart and has developed an awesome personality. Logan just turned 1 and is an awesome little man. They both adore their siblings and bring such joy to our lives. All of our children do!

Kids, July 2015

Perhaps the most  telling change is the growth in faith that I have experienced. I will write more in depth on this in upcoming posts.


I have a plan to resurrect this blog. I hope to be able to focus on a few topics and write daily in a more focused way. I gain such joy from the written word, whether my own or in reading what someone else has written. My prayer is that my words may be a blessing to those who read them.

37 weeks and still pregnant

So here I am exactly 37 weeks pregnant. I never though I would make it this far this time. We've been counting on an early arrival of our little Abigail from the very beginning. After all her siblings all decided to come into this world earlier than planned: Elisabeth at 37 weeks, Joseph at 36 weeks, 6 days and Margaret surprised everyone and showed up at 32 weeks without warning. So, I figured that my body was just going to keep spitting out babies early, especially now that I'm in my mid-thirties.

I've been saying from the start of this pregnancy that she will be a Father's Day baby, that's in 2 days....we'll see. I have a repeat c-section scheduled for July 1st (that's the earliest it can be scheduled at our hospital), my doctor is convinced I won't make it that far....we shall see. At my appointment yesterday I was effaced about 90%, dilated about 1, she is still at a -2 station (although she has felt lower) and my cervix is still posterior.....but my doc still thinks she come sooner rather than later.

It's amazing what life changes can do for your health. This pregnancy has been amazing, other than being older and having more aches and pains because of that. I have the most amazing and supportive husband, my parents are close by and my kids are super excited about their baby sister.

So now we wait....we keep ourselves busy....and we wait for little Abigail to make her appearance.

A little bit of excitement

This morning (yesterday) I went to the doctor for my routine 34 week check-up. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor for a non-stress test, basically listen to the baby's heartbeat, measure contractions and movement. Well apparently Abby was sleeping because she really hardly moved during that time. So my doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. Since his ultrasound tech was at the hospital for her own pregnancy, he sent me over there. They hooked me up to the monitor and did the ultrasound. Thank goodness everything is just fine. Abby started moving plenty (although her head is already pretty far down, they couldn't get a clear picture of the circumference). So home we went, no additional restrictions.

Then it dawned on me soon she really is going to be here. My due date is in 6 weeks, but I'm pretty sure she'll be here before then. In three weeks would be ideal, hopefully not before that. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon sewing. I made a pocket diaper and a wetbag.

diaper testers

Ok, here's the scoop on diapers...

I will be making the following types of diapers:
Fitteds made of 100% cotton with internal or quick dry soaker (require the use of a cover)
AIO  and AI2 with PUL outer layer and cotton or microfleece/suedecloth inner layer absorbent layers will be cotton or microfiber
Pockets PUL outer layer, microfleece/suedecloth inner layer, microfiber soaker
PUL wrap style covers
Swim diapers PUL with microfleece/suedecloth inner layer
All can be made with snap or aplix closure.

Sizes are as follows (i know these seem like really wide ranges, I will definitely need feed back on the fit of these size ranges)
Preemie/newborn: 5-13 lbs
Newborn: 7-16 lbs
Small: 11-25 lbs
Medium:15-35 lbs
Large: 23-40 lbs
Extra-large: 30-50 lbs

Tester prices will be as follows:
All diapers $10
Fitteds: $8
Covers and swim diapers:$5

Shipping is $6 priority mail

Send me a message if you are interested in testing with your preferred type of diaper and closure, and size. In exchange on an incredible deal on new diapers, I ask that you provide feedback on how the diapers work for you (please be honest and critical), I ask for pictures of the diapers in action (will not be published without your permission, I need to see how they fit on various sized children), I ask for you to post a review in my online store (either etsy or hyenacart) when I get it up and running and finally I ask for you to spread the word to everyone you know.

Once I receive your requests, I will send an invoice and after payment is received you can expect shipment in 2 weeks to 1 month's time (probably closer to 1 month). All tester diapers are made to order.

ETA:If you would like to order tester diapers......and I still need some more testers.....please send me some additional measurements along with your requested size. This will allow me to match the best fit to your child. See the following article for more information: http://www.diaperjunction.com/determining-cloth-diaper-size.html

Newborn diapers

Just for fun here is a pic of our complete newborn stash of cloth diapers. All washed and waiting for little Abigail to arrive :)

a crafting venture

I've been contemplating  starting a side business selling hand made cloth diapers, PUL covers and wool soakers. What are your thoughts? Here are some pics of my handiwork that I've made so far for our little Abigail.

Those 2 are my first attempts.

I'll need some testers before I really get started.

And 2 years later...life is good

Quick recap:
Jason and I got married October 13, 2012. We are expecting our honeymoon baby July 5th (really just hoping that she hangs on for 4 more weeks).

The kids are super excited about welcoming their baby sister this summer. They are still in Florida with their dad during the school year.

I'm working as a tech at our hospital on the cardiovascular unit. Jason is working maintenence at our apartment complex. I'm looking forward to going back to school for nursing soon.

So 2 years in a nutshell...more updates coming soon :)

has it really been a year?!?

Wow! It's been more than a year since I've last blogged....a YEAR! That's a really long time in my world. Granted those of you who are connected to me through non-internet life and Facebook know what has gone on...if you've been paying attention ;)

It has been an amazing year of changes and growth....and still some waiting.

Today: Jason and I are living with mom & dad. We moved down here this January (on my birthday) so I could begin a new career with Aflac and he could hopefully find work. My career is going well...slowly building, but progressing...he has found work, but still looking for a long-term position.

We have found a wonderful church family here in Evansville. Jason is beginning to play on the worship team and we are both looking forward to the many ways we can become involved there. We are meeting people our age, couples with young kids and having their first babies. I've met a fellow knitter and my excitement about the craft has returned! I'm really looking forward to getting to know more and more people...this is what has truly enabled me to feel at home here.

The kids are still in Florida, they enjoy their time in Indiana more and more each time they are here. I still hold out hope that they will one day be allowed to live here with us. Jason and I take the monthly trips to see them together. It gets harder and harder to leave them each time. We are all counting down the day until summer break.

Tomorrow: We will continue to work and save for our own place. We will continue to pray for the well-being of the kids. We will continue to look to all the possibilities that life has in store for us.

long time no post....again

Been busy...school started...got a job...moved to Bloomington...met some people...drove to Florida...met Jason....went on a date...went to classes....went to work....went on another date (well a few)...drove to Florida....kids came to Indiana...Jason met the kids...drove to Florida...went to classes...went to work...hung out with Jason (no more money for dates)....did some school stuff...drove to Florida....going insane with the end of school...will write more...eventually (might even include pictures)

updates...what updates?!?

Yes, I owe you an update...but frankly I'm tired...

I had an excellent visit with the kiddos...a great drive back home...got things accomplished...learned some things...

I'll post more later, when I'm able to compose my thoughts into something that would be worth you reading and add some pictures that you might like to see :)

In the meantime, check out my daily posts at my project 365 blog.

in Florida...

with the kiddos this weekend :D :D :D :D

enjoying my time and will update more later!

Project 365

Okay, here it is...after a little thought and a little encouragement from a few friends and a HUGE desire to finally learn more about using my camera and taking great pictures...I have decided to launch into Project 365. I'm challenging myself to take and post one picture a day for an entire year. I will be posting these pictures on a new blog so that they can stand on their own and not become lost in my ramblings of my day to day life. Check it out and hopefully you'll enjoy...a little encouragement to keep me going would be good too :)

my project 365

busy, busy bee

I have been very busy in the last couple weeks. It all started with the Habitat build, I got a taste of productivity and a sense of being needed, it was just what I needed to get motivated to moving forward in my life.

So, in the past week or so I have:

• started working, part-time but it's work and I love it
• started singing in the church choir
• continued with my Boundaries class at church
• continued to read my way through the Count of Monte Cristo...and I'm really enjoying this read :)
  
• helped Dad winterize the swimming pool
  
• planted crocus and tulip bulbs in the garden
• started knitting on a new pair of sock for myself
• made progress on knitting my sweater...I've only been working on it since Margaret was born (2 1/2 years!)...I hope I can finish it this year
  
• spackled and sanded the walls in the basement and stairwell (working on a project Mom started)
• painted said walls, the top half of them, the bottom still needs some primer before finishing
• organised my room so that it is now a place of my own...still need to find some pictures to hang on the walls, but at least the packing boxes are no longer taking up space on the floor
• organised my filing cabinet, going through papers from as far back as 12 years ago, throwing away 2 big garbage bags of said papers and appropriately filing the rest
  
• sorted through clothes in my closet and drawers and designated 1 big bag for donations...I still have some to add though
• gotten back to working on my thesis...working on some reading and figuring out my methodology
• created a calendar and to-do list for myself...this consists of projects in the house, knitting projects, scheduled thesis work time and deadlines

All of this has brought me to a sense of belonging...I'm settling in here...I have a purpose...I'm happy...no matter what is thrown my way, I will take it in stride...nothing can bring me down again...

Yes, I have my moments when the tears well up and I wish I could just hold my kids and never let them go, and I sit in their rooms here and hold their stuffed animals and find the strength to go on...I am doing what I need to do for the sake of my kids...and they will know that and appreciate that one day.

In the meantime, I keep busy, I build relationships in this community and I continue to pray for God's will to be done.

finally taking root

The past few weeks have brought some interesting emotional highs and lows. Really, I should know to expect them, they have been a fact of my life for a while now. I guess I was just unprepared because here I was thinking that things were finally settling down and I was beginning to be able to make a new start in life.

I was in desperate need of getting away from it all for a while, I needed the mental break from dealing with the process of establishing a new parenting plan and figuring child-support and the difficulty of making everybody happy in the meantime. I was also due for a visit with my kids, three weeks without them is really tough. So, I took off on a road trip to visit friends and ultimately end up in Gainesville to spend a long weekend with the kiddos.

I left on a Wednesday and drove down to South Carolina to spend a couple days with my dearest friend Carole and her family. Her baby girl is about 3 months old now, and I had not gotten to hug and hold and spoil her. So, baby Emma got a visit from her Auntie Sharon...and I can't wait to go back to see her! Carole and I spent a couple days going shopping, staying up late talking and reminiscing and just generally having a great time together.

Next stop was Virgina to visit another dear friend. Matt just recently started his new job as a French teacher at a private school near South Boston, VA and he happened to be on break this week. It was a wonderful visit, doing a lot of nothing...staying up late, sleeping in, catching up on life...we did take a drive along the Blue Ridge Parkway and also out to Appomattox and into Lynchburg, were we met another very special friend of mine for dinner...Rick and I spent a good amount of time chatting about the old times in high school and where everybody was these days (I'll get up there again soon to see him and his wife and baby). My time in Virginia made me realize how much I really missed it up there.

Then it was on to Gainesville to see my babies. I was dreading this visit for one reason, this was the visit to tell them that I would be staying in Indiana to complete my PhD and that I would see them on a monthly basis and also for school breaks. I think this was one of the hardest things for me to do, ever. After, that hurdle was jumped over, we settled into Becka's home for the weekend and ended up having a decent visit. It was a very stressful visit for me, but I think they will each get better as we all get used to this routine.

This trip happened to coincide with the University of Florida's homecoming weekend and so I took the kids to the homecoming parade and we watched the Gator game together. I also bought them each their Halloween costumes and we played in a park. We went to church and just generally tried to spend some good time together...it was difficult to tear them away from the computer and TV at times, but I'll figure out how to prioritize my time with them a little better for the next time.

Coming back to Indiana was both difficult and easy. I discovered that I really do not enjoy being in Florida anymore, particularly when its almost 90 degrees in October, but coming back home, with no job and having to face the reality of my life was not a pleasant thought either. I had some really tough moments with Mom & Dad, figuring out where we all are in this process emotionally, figuring out how much more we can handle...and I think that we are ready for whatever is yet to come.

I took a drive up to Bloomington to finally meet Dr. Auger and see the campus...I think I'll love it there. Dr. Auger is a wonderful person and I really look forward to working with her over the next few years and the campus is simply beautiful!

I also found a job, well, mom helped me find it. I start tomorrow, working in a daycare center, part-time, but it's a job, I can't turn it down when there are no other offers. I'm building relationships with people in the church, finally getting out to meet people. Dad and I worked on a Habitat build this weekend, good, quality time with other people, something I've been in need of.

So, this past week, I went from feeling like I was floating around with no place to call my own, to finally feeling like I'm taking root in this community and in this state. I think I'll be okay here...it might still take a little more time...but I'll be okay.

life in small-town USA

This week brought a true taste of what life is like in a small farming community. This Saturday was the church's 2nd annual hog roast. These types of social events are a huge part of little Mt. Vernon. Every church has an annual social...pork chop dinners, hog roasts, the list is incredibly long for a town of 7500 people (there are a lot of churches here). Mom's church does the hog roast...a time for working together, fellowship, food and fun. It was so good to be a part of it, these are hard-working people and it is good to work alongside good people.


I came to Mom's office with her several days this week too...I'm not sure how she ever gets anything done...she pretty much has a revolving door, there is always someone coming in, for some reason or another. I also went and got my Indiana driver's license...and I had to take the written test to get it! I've also been filling out job applications...need to find something to start paying all those bills I have :)


This week is road trip time! The plan is to visit some friends and then back down to Florida to see the kids...I can't wait! It'll be good to be with friends again, I really miss my friends...and, more than anything, I can't wait to hug and hold my babies :)

Home is where the heart is...

and yet where is home when your heart is torn in two?

I am home. There is no question about that. Being home with Mom and Dad is possibly the most healing thing that I can do for myself right now. It's good to be with them, and not be alone at night, to take a break from the constant worry of daily life.

There is a joy in riding down the country roads with Dad in his pick-up truck, windows open, talking enough, but mostly just being in each other's company, listening to the radio and occasionally singing along to the same songs. Working with him to unload the branches from the truck and trailer and listening to his plans for the next house projects and knowing that I will be able to work with him on those too.

There is a joy in sitting in church with Dad and listening to Mom give a worship service and to be in the presence of those people who have been praying so much for me and the kids and who continue to pray. To be able to say that I'm looking for a job and hear someone say that they will keep their eye out for something. To be fully welcomed in a community as one of their own is an indescribable feeling.

There is something about this land as well. Something that calls me home here. It's not my mountains where I really long to be, but there is a freshness here. This open land dotted with fields and houses, horses and the occasional oil well. The open road that connects the farms to the small towns and then to the larger communities. The same open road that you could follow and in no time end up in another state. The star-studded night sky that is an amazing sight to behold, when it's not cloudy. I feel a peace in this land.

But only half of my heart is here, the other half is still in Florida. There is a constant nagging sadness, and no matter how happy and at peace I will feel here, that sadness will not go away. I miss my babies. I long to hug them and hold them. I look at their pictures constantly. And yet, I know that I must face this difficult time in order to discover the sweet rewards on the other side.

"Yeah, If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there"
-Rodney Atkins

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley."

OK, so life doesn't always hand you what you expect, and the best laid plans are often changed...I'm learning that these days...it's not an easy lesson to learn.

But before there are any more changes in my life, there are some good things going on too.

I met up with my dear friend Stephanie this week, she is at a crossroads in her life right now and I am so excited for her. She's on her way to France to teach English in a high school for 7 months. She will be fantastic!

This weekend I'm taking my kiddos to Disney, thanks to my Aunt Mary and Uncle Tim! When my dad was here and we drove down to Orlando to see my grandmother and other family, all the kids could talk about was how much they wanted to go to Disney World...and let me tell you they are so excited! Margaret wants to see Little Mermaid and Pooh, I haven't seen Joseph this excited and happy in so long and Elisabeth is excited in a cool middle school way ;) I can't wait to share this fun with them!

And then life will continue, with the all the joys that go along with it...I'm looking forward to seeing my Oma and other friends in the near future. There are many decisions to make, many changes to be made, many plans to reevaluate and make anew.

Despite all that has happened, I remain positive, I hold no grudges, I keep strong faith. I must or I could never go on.



"Life may lead you where you least expect but have faith in that you are exactly where you are meant to be." -from the movie Snow Buddies

and now a sharp turn...still not a dead end...

The results of more court time:

• The honorable judge reversed his original decision and denied my right to relocate to Indiana with my children.
• I am still in Florida.
• We have returned to our 53/47% parenting plan.
• The children are having a very difficult time.
  
• I must now analyze my life and decide on a direction to move toward.
• I still hold a hope to give my children everything they deserve in their lives.

Please continue your prayers for my family.

The words to this song mean a lot to me right now.

A bump in the road...

So, after a week in beautiful southern Indiana, I am back in Gainesville with my three kids. We have hit a bump in the road that needs to be navigated. More court time is in our future.

I will not say any more at this point in the process. I only ask for continued prayers for everyone involved in this situation...especially the kids.



"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others throw at him or her." - David Brinkley, TV newscaster

We're moving!

The honorable judge rendered his decision on Thursday afternoon and I received an ecstatic phone call from my attorney, on her mommy day off, shortly after.

I have permission to relocate to Mt. Vernon, Indiana, to the home of my parents...with my three children! Simply amazing!

Moving day is set for August 9th, the kids start school August 11th and I start August 31st.

More to come in the next few days :)